When you got married, you were probably googly-eyed and madly in love. Hopefully, you’re still madly in love, but you’re no longer googly-eyed. You’ve woken up to the real world–marriage is hard work. It takes effort, education, and a lot of unselfishness. No one can walk into a marriage, not do any work, and expect things to go well. Now that you know how it works, however, you wouldn’t change it for anything. With every passing year, you realize that that dose of extra work is what makes it feel so worthwhile. We love the things we put effort into, and you adore both your spouse and your relationship with them. 

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If your anniversary is coming up, you may be in the midst of plans. An anniversary is typically a time to slow down, get romantic, and get nostalgic about your relationship thus far. If you and your spouse could use a relationship boost, or you just want to celebrate how well things are going this year, take some time out to really celebrate your anniversary.

Unplug

To really experience success on your anniversary, don’t keep one eye on your phone. For the afternoon or weekend that you spend celebrating your marriage, really get work, kids, and other life stresses out of your system. You may need to spend several days before the date talking out some of your life frustrations with friends, so that you’re not burdened with those feelings when you’re trying to focus on your spouse. Make your time together all about each other, and make sure you’ve been connecting steadily in the weeks leading up to your trip–otherwise your time alone could suddenly turn into time to resolve issues! Relax and unplug from life together, visiting a resort and spa, wandering through nature, or enjoying a beautiful meal.

Try Something New

You might be stuck in a rut when it comes to anniversaries–same dinner, same restaurant, every year. If you need to spice things up, try something radically different. Fly to Florida: try a new restaurant, like a seafood and crabhouse, and try new food–it’s never too late to try squid! Get out of your rut by doing the things you used to do when you were dating, or trying something together you’ve never tried before. Getting away is only one of the ways you can shed a new light on your marriage, and an escape from normalcy might be exactly what you need.

Pick for Your Spouse

You might know exactly what you want to do for this anniversary. It might not, however, be what your spouse would most enjoy. Don’t be afraid to be the one who loves the most–if you can do it with a good attitude (aka not an entitled attitude–he or she probably doesn’t want to pay for your generosity later!) then try to pick a dinner date, weekend trip, or couples activity that really blesses your spouse. Starting with their needs can really get the date off to a good start.